Chapter 6 - The Decision Emma Did Not Make
I waited twenty minutes before replying to Vanessa.
Not because I wanted to punish her.
Because I wanted to know why she thought I belonged in the middle again.
What do you need from me?
Her answer came almost instantly.
Meet me for coffee. Please. Not at the house.
I looked toward the breakfast room where Luca and Sal were still talking.
Then I typed:
I’m working until four.
She sent an address in Lincoln Park and wrote 4:30.
I almost said no.
Then I remembered Gabriel asking if he had ruined the party.
I told myself I was going for him.
That was partly true.
It was also the kind of sentence people use when they want to make curiosity sound noble.
At four-thirty, Vanessa sat in the back corner of a coffee shop wearing jeans, a black sweater, and no visible jewelry except the engagement ring.
Without the red dress, the diamonds, and the mansion around her, she looked younger.
More tired too.
I ordered tea and sat across from her.
“You shouldn’t be asking me to influence Luca.”
“I’m not.”
“Then why am I here?”
She wrapped both hands around her cup.
“Because you saw Gabriel.”
“So did Luca.”
“Not really.”
I waited.
“He saw a frightened kid in his foyer for twenty minutes.”
“And you think I saw something different?”
“You saw him ask for pancakes.”
That was so specific I stopped arguing.
Vanessa looked down at her coffee.
“I need someone to understand that I did not hide Gabriel because I was ashamed of him.”
I thought of what she had told me at the door.
“Your father taught you to be ashamed.”
“Yes.”
“But you said the lie became useful.”
Her mouth tightened.
“You remember everything.”
“I clean houses. It leaves room in the brain.”
She almost smiled.
Then she reached into her bag and placed a folded piece of paper on the table.
I did not touch it.
“What is that?”
“Gabriel’s school calendar.”
I looked at her.
“Why are you showing me?”
“Because Luca thinks I see my son twice a year.”
“Did he say that?”
“No.”
“Then don’t decide what he thinks.”
She looked at me sharply.
The irony was not subtle.
I slid the paper back toward her without opening it.
“If you want Luca to know how often you see Gabriel, tell Luca.”
“He won’t answer my calls.”
“Then write it down and send it to him.”
“He’ll think I’m manipulating him.”
“Maybe you are.”
Her face hardened.
I felt the familiar urge to soften what I had said.
I did not.
Vanessa looked out the window.
“I went to every school conference last year.”
I said nothing.
“I pay for his clothes. His dentist. His soccer. He sleeps at my apartment two nights a week.”
“Does he tell people you’re his mother?”
Her eyes came back to mine.
“At school, yes.”
“So the lie was mostly for Luca and his world.”
“And my father’s.”
“Your father is not marrying Luca.”
She flinched.
“I know.”
We sat with that.
The barista dropped a spoon behind the counter.
A bus hissed to a stop outside.
Ordinary life kept moving around us.
Vanessa rubbed her thumb over the ring.
“I was going to tell Luca the week after the wedding.”
“Why not the day after he proposed?”
“Because then he could still walk away.”
“You keep saying that like it explains something better.”
Her eyes filled.
“I loved him.”
“I believe you.”
That surprised her.
I leaned forward.
“I also think you wanted to control when he was allowed to react.”
Vanessa looked down.
“I wanted one thing in my life not to disappear because I told the truth.”
There it was.
Not greed.
Not strategy in the criminal sense.
Fear with nice shoes and a ring on it.
“What did you want from Sal?” I asked.
Her jaw tightened.
“I wanted him gone for one night.”
“You packed thirty-four years into a cardboard box for one night?”
“I panicked.”
“You told him Luca thought he was too old.”
“I needed him not to call Luca.”
“So you picked the one lie that would hurt him enough to leave quietly.”
Vanessa stared at me.
The truth of that seemed to reach her only after I said it.
She looked away.
“I didn’t think about it like that.”
“I know.”
Her eyes flashed.
“That’s not an excuse.”
“No.”
She took off the engagement ring.
For a second, I thought she was going to hand it to me.
Instead she set it on the table between us.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“That’s not my decision.”
“I’m not asking you to decide.”
“You asked me to meet before Luca made a decision he can’t take back.”
Her shoulders lowered.
“I wanted you to tell him I’m not a monster.”
I looked at the ring.
“I don’t think you’re a monster.”
Her face softened.
“But I’m not going to tell him to marry you.”
The softness disappeared.
“I didn’t ask you to.”
“You were about to.”
She gave a tired laugh.
“Maybe.”
I stood.
Vanessa looked up.
“Emma.”
I paused.
“If he ends it, Gabriel is going to think it’s because of him.”
That fear was real.
I sat back down.
“What are you going to tell Gabriel?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then figure that out before you figure out Luca.”
Vanessa looked at me for a long time.
Then she picked up the ring and put it back on.
Not because everything was fixed.
Because she was still not ready to let go.
When I returned to the mansion at five-thirty to pick up the jacket I had forgotten, Luca was standing in the foyer.
He glanced at the coffee shop receipt sticking from my bag.
“Where were you?”
I could have lied.
Instead I said, “With Vanessa.”
His expression closed.
“Did she send you to talk to me?”
“No.”
“Did she ask you to?”
“Yes.”
Luca stared at me.
I took a breath.
“And I told her I wouldn’t.”
He looked away.
“Good.”
Then he looked back at me.
“You’re suspended tomorrow.”
My stomach dropped.
“For meeting her?”
“For getting involved again after I told you not to.”
I opened my mouth.
He held up one hand.
“With pay.”
“That is not the point.”
“No. The point is you keep deciding a problem belongs to you because you can see it.”
His words hit because they were true.
I stood there holding my jacket.
“What happens now?” I asked.
“With Vanessa?”
“Yes.”
Luca’s face changed.
“That is not your decision either.”
May you like
I nodded.
For once, I let that be the end of the conversation.
