Chapter 4 - What Amelia Said to the Doctor
Dr. Nadia Patel had been Amelia's neurologist for eleven months. She was small and precise and spoke slowly, as if she had learned that children in her care needed time to hear things twice.
Grant sat in the corner of her office on Wednesday. Amelia sat on the exam table, legs hanging, wheelchair folded against the wall.
"Her physical exam is unchanged," Dr. Patel said. "Which is good. The problem was never in her legs."
"I know."
"But I want to talk about something else today."
Grant straightened.
Dr. Patel turned to Amelia. "Can I talk to you alone for a few minutes?"
Amelia looked at her father.
"It's okay," Grant said.
He stepped into the hallway. The door clicked shut behind him.
He stood there for twenty-two minutes. He checked his phone. He answered two emails. He paced to the water fountain and back. He could hear nothing through the door, which somehow made it worse.
When it opened, Dr. Patel motioned him in.
Amelia's eyes were red. She was looking at her lap.
"Amelia and I had a good conversation," Dr. Patel said. "She's given me permission to share part of it with you."
Grant sat down.
"She told me she thinks the accident was her fault."
The room tilted.
"She thinks she was arguing with her mother," Dr. Patel went on, gently. "About a song on the radio. She says she was shouting, and her mother turned around to look at her, and that's when the other car came."
"That's not—" Grant's voice cracked. He cleared his throat. "That's not what happened. Claire turned because she was changing lanes. I've read the report. Fifty times. There's no evidence she was distracted."
"I know," Dr. Patel said. "But Amelia is ten. She doesn't need evidence. She needs a story that makes sense of what happened. And the story she has is: I was bad, and my mother died, and now my body is doing the punishment my mind thinks I deserve."
Grant looked at his daughter.
She wouldn't look back.
"Does she understand," he said slowly, "that that's not how it works?"
"She's ten," Dr. Patel said again. "And she's grieving. And she's never once heard you say out loud that it wasn't her fault."
Grant opened his mouth.
"Have you?" Dr. Patel asked.
The silence in the room was total.
May you like
"No," Grant said.
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